Author Archives: narratologist

Amazing Farmer’s Market Potatoes

Amazing Farmer's Market Potatoes

Made a beautiful potato salad with Greek Yogurt and Dill.


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by | 04.27.2014 · 10:21 am

THIS is the 2nd most popular pair of pants currently sold by American Apparel?!?


Also, I don’t know how to say this with a straight face, but the web banner on their front page is advertising halloween costumes… which are looks pulled together from their main line. Ha ha ha ha.

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Heidi Klum and Ursula the Sea Witch

Heidi Klum looked beautiful last night at the Emmy Awards. No one is surprised. But by what was this beautiful Marchesa piece inspired? Clearly Ursula the Sea Witch. The neckline, the belly, the tentacles…



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Who looks good in Harem Pants?

I don’t know the definite answer to this question. One answer is, however, clear from this photograph – not professional models.15927874_01_b

So from whence did this appalling fashion idea emerge? Harem pants must be some sort of fashion industry joke.

The industry obviously tries this periodically. Put out a ridiculous ugly ugly ugly fashion (hot pants, skorts) and see who bites.

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Wolfram Alpha = Sucks < Google

I think Wolfram Alpha sucks. It could be very useful if I spent lots of time fiddling around and learning how it works. But why would I do that when I can pour the drivel directly from my brain into Google’s search engine and it will give me what I want 90% of the time?

wolfram-alpha-150x150The defense of Wolfram Alpha is that it is good with data. Okay. But so is Google. Perhaps I will ask Google to quantify how much Wolfram Alpha sucks.

So I googled, “Wolfram Alpha sucks”. 651,000 hits. Good, good. I would like to hit Wolfram Alpha about that many times.

But wait. I googled, “Wolfram Alpha rocks”. 1,141,000 hits. Now, this isn’t a perfect science, obviously, but in this informal poll of Google, Wolfram Alpha is doing pretty well.

It can’t be so.

I try again. Perhaps ‘sucks’ and ‘rocks’ aren’t very good antonyms. I try, “Wolfram Alpha terrible”, 496,000 hits. “Wolfram Alpha awesome”, 825,000 hits. Now maybe the sort of person who is inclined to write an internet piece about this site is the sort of person who is predisposed to like data and just eats up the Wolfram Alpha gig. Or maybe Wolfram Alpha is actually pretty good, and I am wrong.


But, a redeeming final thought: If I enter any of those search terms into Wolfram Alpha, you know what happens?

It says, “Wolfram Alpha isn’t sure what to do with your input.”

Great quantitative analysis of your own self-worth, Wolfram Alpha.


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Recession + Obesity = High Waisted Fashion Trend

SkirtAs this Wikipedia entry on Fast Fashion illustrates beautifully, the fashion world is not typically a friend to your figure or your wallet. Nonetheless, by some cosmic fluke, the present prevailing fashion trend of high waisted skirts can be both.

Many Americans are finding themselves short on cash in the present economy. Many Americans are also a little heavier than they were a few years ago. Not to worry. For once, good can come of this situation. You see, skirts that once fit nicely around your hips in as per that early-2000’s trend will now fit snugly around your waist and be miraculously trendy. And you don’t have to spend a dime.


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Undergraduate Lesson #1

Everything is relative.

You know this one from Physics, of course, and from Economics. Velocity, for example, is relative, depending on the velocity and position of the measurer. My Econ professors constantly reminded me that time scale is everything when thinking about Macroeconomics.

I recently realized that relativity pertains to life as a recent graduate, too. Picking out a shampoo, I was caught by Garnier Fructis’s promise to make my hair 5x stronger (!). Ah, but everything is relative. The footnote on this promise reveals that if I use the complete Garnier system including shampoo, conditioner and leave-in conditioner my hair will be 5x stronger in a brushing test in comparison to a competitor’s non-conditioning shampoo. Wow, Garnier. Thank you for that completely useless piece of promotion.

Picture 1
Who hasn’t seen the Subway napkins that compare the caloric content of their subs with that of a McDonalds or Burger King hamburger? Impressive, right? Actually, no. Because the footnote reveals that this caloric comparison pits a Subway sub (with no cheese or dressing) against a hamburger, fries and a soda. Um, yeah.

This undergraduate lesson is closely interrelated with another important college aphorism:

Read the footnotes.

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